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23 August 2018

REVIEW: Satisfyer Men

Penis pal

Yep, it's that time again: another awkward Test Pit sex toy review. Yay. You love these, don't you? DON'T YOU? Y'see, as we're always looking around for the latest in high-tech and innovative products, occasionally those product take the form of something designed purely to assist adult people achieve orgasm, be it while with a friend (like this) or while on their tod (like this). And so, after a couple of weeks of testing, we're left with the delicate task of describing such a gadget, because showing would be waaaaay off target for this site's typical content. Anyway, feast your mind upon our review of the Satisfyer Men.



No strangers to Satisfyer's sex toys, we're quickly learning that they can knock out an interesting and functional product, which in turn will help you knock out a fun and enjoyable orgasm. The Satisfyer Men is no exception, except that the intended user base is just blokes. That's because the Satisfyer Men is a Fleshlight-like toy. A 'pussy-pot', if you will.


Pop off the lid of the toy and you'll find the eerily flesh-like interior waiting. The white silicone, or 'cyberskin' as Satisfyer refer to it, is soft, stretchy, and feels just like plump human skin. The interior space is highly textured with lots of lumps, bumps and troughs, and after you tentatively poke your finger in first time round, you'll no doubts that it does indeed feel like a vagina. Which is definitely what they were going for.

Much of the marketing of the Satisfyer Men, and, according to Satisfyer, the actual design process, involves Italian porn star Rocco Siffredi. They talk about all the films he's made (1800!) and all the women he's slept with (500!), but apparently this toy, this length of plastic and silicone, gave him the best ever orgasm. Okay. Still, it is a bit off-putting to see his face everywhere, seeming to invite you into the masturbator he's holding. Jus' sayin'.


Lube up (by God, remember to lube up!) and insert the old chap in, and the sensation is disconcertingly realistic. Satisfyer also suggest that you remove the silicone sleeve from the plastic housing before you start and soak it in warm water for an even more life-like experience, but that's up for you. Certainly once you... erm... 'get going' the thing warms up pretty quickly anyway.

But wait, has this whole review been a mere ruse to be sent a vagina in a can? Where's the tech angle? Well, the Satisfyer Men is unique in the world of fake fannies by possessing an innovative pressure system. First of all, the silicone sleeve has an opening at the top, and if you screw off the 'nose' of the housing, you can change the intensity of suction. Leave it on and there is a stronger vacuum feeling, or take it off for an easier ride.


Furthermore, the toy features side-mounted pumps. Squeeze them a few times and you'll inflate small air cushions set between the outer housing and the sleeve. The bigger they get, the tighter the sensation. Noice. Also, this you can alter quickly during your 'alone time' as all you need to do to release the pressure is squeeze two other smaller buttons. It's all very clever, and works well.

One thing to note, however, is the size. The Satisfyer Men is ten inches in length and around four inches wide. Guys with larger hands shouldn't have an issue gripping it, but just bear in mind that the internal air pressure system adds quite a bit of bulk.

So this less than discreet sex toy is actually very good, offering intense and life-like sensations, with enough tech and design in there to stimulate both your penis and your mind. And hey, unlike many other toys like this, it ain't breaking your bank account any time soon.

£34.95

Visit www.satisfyer.com




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