Leaf it out.
Ever been kept awake at night worrying that your house plants are stressed? Of course you have; you're not a monster. Fortunately there will soon be a way for your plants to tell you exactly how they feel, so long as The Phytl Signs Kickstarter campaign is successful.
The device is like a wearable gadget for your plants, clipping onto a leaf to pick up on data from the flora itself. Unlike current plant sensors, which tell you things like the level of moisture in the soil, Phytl Signs actually draws electrical signals from the plant itself, and projects them through a speaker. It is hoped that as more people use the gadget, and more data is captured, Swiss company Vivant SARL will be able to work out what the plants are "saying".
Are they stressed, are being attacked by unseen pests, are they thirsty, or do they simply want you to take that damn clip of their leaves so they can carrying on being a plant? All this will one day be figured out.
If you'd like to back the project, get you and your green fingers, right here.
Meanwhile, if pests are your problem, both big and small, check out https://www.pestcontrolexperts.com/exterminator/new-jersey/