Kiss kiss, bang bang.
Using a wearable activity tracker and following a work-out app is great way to stay fit. But here's an even better way. Porn website Pornhub (never heard of it. Have you?) have announced the BangFit; an on-line fitness programme that... well, is exactly what you think it is.
Strap your phone to your waist, follow the on-line "work-out" routines, and grab your partner (or indeed, partners). The accompanying app will help you track how many calories you've burnt during the "sexercise", as well as earning points for your performance. According to Pornhub, each game lasts for 30 minutes.
Half an hour? Sounds like you could have 15 games during that time. Anyway, this is all pretty creepy, not just because you'd effectively be competing with your partner during sex, but also because we really wouldn't our phones bouncing around on our chubby little tummies while we're at it. Lets just hope the BangFit Band, into which the phone is placed, is waterproof.
Having said all that, why would we expect anything else from a porn website? Carry on, lads.
(So there's porn on the internet, now? When did that happen?)