2 March 2016

NEWS: Idiots making circular phone "for women"

"Women love to talk..."

Poor women; living in a world filled with rectangles. As we all know, females of our species are incapable of holding rectangular-shaped objects, and are constantly dropping the likes of books, boxed board games, and – crucially – phones. Fortunately a new start-up company is attempting to tackle that very important feminine problem with their own range of circular phones.

dToor (which stands for Designing The Opposite Of Rectangle – even that makes us feel sick) is seeking crowdfunding cash to produce a circular smartphone called Cyrcle for girls. As their site says:

The rectangular shape does not serve the needs of women in many ways. First, truly feminine clothing does not normally have pockets, and if it does, the pockets are frequently too small or not shaped to accept a large rectangular object.”

Oh, and they continue:

Second, women need to be connected as women love to talk, text, and communicate through any means available on smartphones with their family, friends, and lovers.”

Don't forget the lovers for Christ's sake!

Furthermore, for texting or messaging, there is nothing less striking than a bank of moms at a volleyball practice pecking like chickens into their mobile phones. One look and you instantly understand how fundamental it is for women to discreetly communicate in order to always be connected, and how unattractive the process is currently.”

We could write about feminism taking one for the team here, but the only people reading this little rant are male; all the women have already dropped their phones, tablets and laptops due to their awkward rectangular shapes. Sorry girls.

Anyway, why not give these morons some love at http://dtoor.com/

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