Twatt Hancock
Proving that you can indeed give people what they definitely don't want, MP and Culture Secretary Matt Hancock has created his very own social media app. It's called Matt Hancock. Hey, that's his name! Tory Matt is also the Digital Secretary, so it would make perfect sense that he knows fuck all about what makes a good app.
Although designed primarily for his constituents in West Sussex, the app allows users to chat to Matt and for him to answer questions. However, there is also a social element, as users can become 'friends' and chat with each other during live streams of important Matt Hancock-related events. Possibly of Matt having a wank, we dunno.
Although the app has only been live for a a day or so, there are already concerns about privacy. Download it and sign up, and you'll get notifications such as 'Matt Hancock would like to access your device's photos and videos', and 'Matt Hancock would like to know your device's location'. If we've learnt anything since 2010 it is never give your location to a Conservative.
Still, if you really like Matt, think Twitter and Facebook have lost their edge, and long for a new social platform, Matt Hancock welcomes you with open digital arms.